The 20-something decade of life can be a tightrope of identity for many. There is a phenomenon that occurs for 20-somethings that further accentuates this transitional decade of life. This is the phenomenon of geographic explosion: a significant percentage of one’s friends scattered to the four winds.

But let’s go back a few years. Identity through the adolescent years is at best schizophrenic. For instance, a 16-year old might truthfully perceive themselves as equally soccer player and youth group kid, middle child and excelling student, video gamer and music junkie. For the average 16-year old there is no core identity; the identity is found in the sum of the separate parts.

Once in college, identity is primarily found in a solid friend-group. While inner convictions and idealistic dreams of the future are developing, still the primary source of influence and self-hood are found in the group that you live life with.

So along comes the geographic explosion. The very people that have impacted who you are, what you value, what you enjoy doing, and what you invest yourself into are now scattered to the four winds. Identity can be found in a vocation, a cause, a hobby, or a spouse, but if that doesn’t come along quick than there can be a serious identity crisis. That is where many 20-something’s find themselves. Their friends now live hundreds if not thousands of miles away and they’re spending the lion’s share of their time in some low-level job that they could just as easily walk away from tomorrow. Questions like these tug at their very being: “Who am I? Why did I go to college? Where will I be next year?”

I for one have good friends that are currently residing in New York, Los Angeles, San Diego, Bosnia, Denver, near New Orleans, Quad Cities, Indianapolis, Scotland, near Boston, Pennsylvania, Kentucky, Tennessee, Ohio, Wisconsin, the Carolinas, Azerbaijan, Hawaii, Michigan, San Antonio, Atlanta, Kansas City, Omaha, and soon to be the United Arab Emirates. And I’m living in Rapid City, South Dakota…What!?

While I feel pretty blessed to have found a wonderful place of employment where I’m doing what I love AND I have gobs of outdoors possibilities right outside my door, I still feel the strain of this geographic explosion. That’s why I drive 12 hours one way to go to a wedding and see those people I love. Or drive 6+ hours one way to go skiing for one day with a good friend. Or spend a week of my vacation time in Southern California with close friends. I want to keep those people close even when they’re far. And blogging isn’t quite cutting it for me ;-)

- So what do you think?
- Do you feel the strain of the geographic explosion?
- Have your friends scattered across the globe?
- Would you ever think of living somewhere primarily because your friends live there?
- Shoot, even if I don't know you, feel free to say "Hey" and tell me where you are in the world in the Comments.

A couple weeks ago one of my teens arrived at my house for Wednesday night youth bearing an unexpected gift. Kayla Biers (she's on the left) made me the proud owner of a dazzling Betta fish (also known as Siamese fighting fish). My experience as a fish owner was limited to one of my college roommates having three goldfish named Zebedee and the Sons of Thunder. So I was ecstatic to have my very own Betta. The gift was a package deal; the fish came with the nifty plant/vase, decorative marbles, and Betta fish food. I was set! The vase, and treasured fish within, made its home at a very visible spot on my desk.

All was well...until 48 hours later. The little guy just wasn't looking too good hovering just above the marbles upside-down! He was toast. Just like that my fish owning days came to a grinding halt. I didn't even have time to name him! Despite the brevity of our master-servant relationship, there was a tinge of sadness as he plunged into the toilet and beyond.

This past Saturday I went out of my way to peruse the fish aisle at our local Wal-Mart. I found that any number of Bettas are available for $3.49 plus tax. I selected a gorgeous blue one whose rich colors were only further brought out by the decorative marbles. I cleaned out my vase, rinsed the marbles, and filled it to the proper level with drinking water (not tap or distilled water). Upon adding the new resident to the vase, I dropped in a pinch of food Betta food. This time around I was a paranoid owner. Every few minutes I'd glance at blue just to make sure he was still on the move. The next morning I was glad to see that he had made it through the night. But, sadly, when I checked in on him around noon of that day he too had croaked. I felt horrible! He hadn't even lasted 24 hours! How could I live with myslef now that I was a Beta fish serial killer?

Concern and frustration are key ingredients for positive change. One identifies something that either concerns them or frustrates them to the point that they want to change it. For example, it is frustration with a dodgy windshield wiper that leads me to purchase a new one. Or for someone else the concern for personal safety at home might lead them to install some additional lighting around the yard.

This line of thinking makes me wonder, what are the world's primary concerns?

What should we as a people be concerned about or frustrated with in our world to the point that we want to make a difference. Ghandi's challenging quip went like this, "Be the change you wish to see in the world." What change do I wish to see in the world? What are the world's primary concerns?

The pandemic of AIDS/HIV roaring across Africa and Southeast Asia?
Violent conflicts in over twenty nations?
Extreme poverty across many parts of our globe including over one billion people who live off of less than $1 a day?
The $321bn international drug trafficking business?
Child abuse and even forced child prostitution (not just in developing countries)?
Millions of orphans?
Dictatorships that leave millions without simple freedoms?
Pollution, rainforest destruction, and the war we're waging against our own environment?
Terrorists?
Some might say that all of these pale in comparison with the need to reach billions of people for Christ!?

What do you think? What are the world's greatest concerns?

Then again, maybe I should spend more time ruminating on Leo Tolstoy's words, "Everybody thinks of changing the world; nobody thinks of changing themselves."

I need your help. In theory, if you were coming up with a name for a youth group/student ministry, which name would you pick?

The Journey
The Movement
The Thirst
[re]Image
The [re]generation
Encounter
Resonate
SecondWind
Soul
Re:Soul
Source
Illumination
Ignite
Ablaze
Deep
Real
Alive
Thrive
Aim
Edge
Core
Pursuit
Impact
Re:direct
Re:fresh
[re]mix
Renovation

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And for fun, here are some of the worst monikers I have come across:
CrossEyed
Turn or Burn
and...
...King James Version Only Student Ministries (I kid you not!)

"The new holiness is busyness." --Stated by Phil Stevenson at the Dakota District Pastor's Retreat
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Balance. Health. Stability. Consistency. Focus. Purposefulness.
All things that we as humans are hungry for but often fall short of, myself included. What keeps these things out of reach? What obstacles get in our way?

I'd like to propose some thoughts.

First off, I think we fail to see the big picture. If we don't have a God-sized view of the universe, then we're left going it alone. We'll have no one to lean on, trust, etc. Even if we do have God in the picture we can miss the big picture by being focused on the right now instead of the full extent of our lives. Living for the long haul. Not having things in perspective. So practically we can get frustrated, discouraged, upset, mad, demoralized or fatigued to the point of depression or failure just by not having the big picture in view.
So how would you change the way you spend your time if you had a clear grasp of the big picture of the universe and of the full extent of your life???

Second, maybe we miss out on the above listed things by having incorrect expectations. Maybe we have a picture in our head of what 'health' should look like or what 'purposefulness' should look like, but that picture is off. So maybe we could be living in a healthy, balanced, focused way or at least be close to it and not even realize it. For example, what if your picture of health or balance was really just an unattainable pipe dream...and thus what you need more than your idealistic idea of balance is a clearer picture of reality and an acceptance of that. So maybe it's okay to be stressed all or most of the time as long as it is a manageable amount of stress. So maybe it's okay to give 100% in some areas but not in others because you've thought through your priorities. Maybe it's okay to virtually ignore some relationships because you want to hone in on other relationships. Maybe it's okay to fail from time to time as long as you learn from your failures and never give up. And so on...
So, in what ways might you have slanted or incorrect expectations that could be causing guilt or a perceived unhealthiness?

And finally, we don't take the time on a weekly basis for self-leadership. If we set aside one hour every week to ask questions like...how could I be more balanced this week? More healthy? More purposeful? More focused? then I'm positive we would see positive results. You say, "I don't have an hour...that's the point!" I say, take the hour, and you'll find yourself saving multiple hours in the long run. Because you'll have a better grasp of what to spend your time on and especially what to simply say NO to. We get too busy saying yes to everything and not really stopping to ask ourselves what we should be saying NO to.
Are you carving out an hour every week for self-leadership?


So, what do you think? What in this mess of thoughts will help spur you on to increased health, focus, and balance in your life?

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This post was sparked from an email conversation with a good friend, that I happened to have randomly met on an airplane.

I wonder what percentage of you watched the State of the Union address this evening? Or maybe you caught a news clip or read an article about it? I was running at the YMCA (I'm a relatively new member) when I saw that it was soon to begin. The timing was perfect to finish up my jog and head to the men's locker room where I could take in the speech on a big screen TV (it beats my lack of a TV at home).

I found Bush to be bold and true to form this evening. Overall I suppose I had a positive reaction. But then again I'm a sucker for all of the idealistic rhetoric. In a fifty minute speech (of which probably a third was clapping), Bush used the word "hope/hopeful" twenty times. "Free/freedom" was used eighteen times; "peace" eight times; and "compassion" four times. He definitely used strong language in places (take that Iran!), but he was not absent of playfulness. For example, his coy smirks to the Democratic side of the aisle were quite endearing and betrayed his confidence this evening.

Check out these quotes:
"Once again, we accept the call of history to deliver the oppressed, and move this world toward peace."
"...spreading hope in hopeless lands."
"...we strive to be a compassionate, decent, hopeful society."

Sounds good to me!

Now, I realize that behind the idealistic rhetoric there are complex and sticky situations involving dying American soldiers, social security reform, independence from Middle Eastern oil, growing nuclear powers, etc. And I realize that the other side of the aisle will find scores of places to punch holes in Bush's policies. But nonetheless he has struck a chord in me as far as what our focus should be in discussing each individual issue. We want to be a people who are a blessing to the world. Bringers of hope. Defenders of the oppressed. Peace givers. Compassionate people.

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Oh, and there was a drawback to watching the speech, or anything for that matter, at the YMCA men's locker room. About two-thirds of the way through the speech I noticed a reflection in the TV screen. I couldn't believe it at first. But, sure enough, there was this buck naked 50-something guy spread out on a chair a mere four feet from me. It gave me all the more motivation to be glued to what Bush had to say ;-)
(Jackson, I was thinking back to your hot tub experience.)